nooligan x hidedemons: journal (5)
motivation for me never came from the most honorable of places -
sometimes, most of the time…all the time it came from the oldest of inspirations, probably the one of the originals.
revenge.
through out history -gods & men have plotted, schemed, and destroyed each other to fill that hole in the chest. most times for smallest shadow of shade casted towards one and other -an excuse.
I am no different, i spent my youth holding on to words, looks, rumors, and betrayals. I held them, remembered and retold em’ over and over. I use it for fire, i let it burn me up -consume me. I felt like i had something to prove, i had to let them know i belonged.
well…thats what i told myself and at that time i needed someone to blame. honestly, i was blaming everyone else for my lack of skill, for my lack of dedication to my craft, etc, etc. it was easy to do, probably why i did it. the lesson i learned was revenge is a powerful motivator but it blinded me from the real problems that for the most part we’re self inflicted.
for us common men and women, without super powers like photographic memory for example have to put in the extra work -be open to change and most importantly let the people that see something in you -be confirmation you are on the right path. sometimes the maturity comes late, i am no exception to the rule -i draw for a living, its going to a be slow process -thats where the magic is.
am i saying revenge is bad? on the contrary i ain’t no saint…i keep a list. its how to widdle down to whats essential.
thats for another time…
stay lucky, stay safe.
old world rose,
forged in fire,
whittled down to a blade,
seeking revenge
for promises made.
